conversations that last into the middle of the night
long goodbyes
the absent smile that plays over my face every single time i hear your voice
and everything in between

the songs we sing to each other
the random anecdotes
even the stupid jokes
and this feeling like magic that i can't explain

you make me light up inside
like the Christmas tree in Times Square
my day starts when you say good morning
and ends when you say good night

im constantly consumed with wanting you near me
does that even make sense?
i just can't help thinking -

this could be the start of something amazing.

"long goodbyes"

"Each of us keeps, battened down inside himself, a sort of lunatic giant - impossible socially, but full-scale. It's the knockings and batterings we sometimes hear in each other that keep our intercouse from utter banality."

                                                                                 -Elizabeth Bowen

that vague sparkle in your eye -
is it the light playing tricks
so that I'm getting lost without even trying
drowning in uncharted depths
and melting hopelessly all the while

I seem to remember every detail of your face in my dreams
and I wake up to the tender brush of your lips on mine
until I open my eyes and you disappear
an illusion that fades all too easily

you make me want to fall asleep again

its just like in fairy tales
endings are best
because you can close the book
and forget and move on

and you whispered in my ear
living in dreams won't get you anywhere
and I hope, I hope that hope is gone
and I hope, I hope that love doesn't belong
in my life

'cause I'm tired of waiting

You turned me upside down
and my heart fell out of my pockets
you reckless thief
stealing what you didn't want

its just like in fairly tales
beginnings are good

so let's start over

you are the heaviest burden i know how to bear
and i don't want to do it anymore
i'm tired of it all

I'm making you disappear
from the pages of my heart 
ripping them out,
one by one.

soon you'll be gone completely
and i'll finally be able to see again
clearly,
like i did before
see you for what you really are -
someone I could never love.

I can smile again.
I'm seeing all these other possibilities
ones that used to stay in the background
and now it doesn't hurt quite so much
now it doesn't hurt quite so bad

i've gotta leave for a while
so these wounds keep closing
staying around here is bad for my health

maybe someday
things will be okay
when I don't see you with love
and I don't see you with hate
someone who doesn't matter,
but could be a friend

i need some time to breathe

so let me inhale.